Making Suffering Worth the Trouble

 

Dear Reader,

When my mother died of cancer, I felt something break inside of me. The days and nights I watched her suffer seemed unbearable. I remember wondering, what kind of God would let this happen? Like the man Francine R. Bennion describes in her talk on suffering, I was not looking for a medical report on cancer or an explanation of how pain works. I wanted to know why. Why would God let a small, frail woman endure such misery?

For me, that loss became the beginning of a long journey into anger, blame, and escape. I blamed God, and I tried to drown my grief in alcohol. What started as a coping mechanism became a prison. Addiction stripped away joy, clarity, and hope. In my darkest moments, I felt completely abandoned.

But the God I thought I was running from was quietly placing people and paths in front of me. One of those paths was Alcoholics Anonymous. In AA I learned honesty, surrender, and the power of service. Carrying the message to others in recovery helped me find meaning in my own suffering. AA gave me a framework for life — one that acknowledged pain but also showed me how suffering could be transformed into compassion and connection.

Later, I found another gift: the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Through the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I discovered that my suffering was not meaningless at all. As Bennion reminds us, “Our birth is evidence of courage and faith, not helplessness, shame, and disobedience.” I began to understand that before this life, I chose to come. I chose to face hunger, loss, heartbreak, and trial because I trusted that with God, even sorrow could lead to growth.

This truth changed everything. What once felt like punishment became evidence of divine trust. The God I had accused of cruelty was instead the God who believed I could endure, overcome, and serve.

Today I find joy in service — whether in AA, sharing the message of recovery, or in the Church, serving as a missionary and feeding the homeless. In these moments, I see that the very suffering that once drove me from God now draws me closer to Him and to His children.

Bennion teaches that the point is not to escape suffering or imagine heaven as a place free of problems, but to meet reality with courage, peace, love, and agency. My life has shown me that suffering, though painful, can indeed be “worth the trouble.” It can lead us into deeper compassion, greater service, and a truer understanding of God and ourselves.

Thanks for reading.

link to Bennion's talk: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/church-historians-press/at-the-pulpit/part-4/chapter-43?lang=eng