Learning to Listen with the Heart

 

Dear Reader,

Have you ever heard someone say, "I feel your pain"?

Whenever I hear those words, I find myself wondering: What pain are we truly experiencing? Do we feel another person's heartache? Do their tears become our own? What part of their journey is our soul actually touching?

And when a friend sincerely answers the question, "How are you doing?" are we prepared to remain present and truly listen?

Too often, I find that while I may be physically present, my mind is elsewhere. Random thoughts interrupt what is being shared. I begin thinking about what I will say next, what I need to do later, or how their experience compares to my own. I do not believe this is intentional—it is simply part of being human.

In my experience, being fully present with another person is difficult at best. To listen with patience, compassion, and an open heart requires something greater than ourselves. It requires us to cultivate a Christlike spirit.

Brené Brown beautifully expressed it this way:

"Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of, 'You're not alone.'"

To me, this is discipleship in action.

It is taught in scripture. It is practiced in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is found wherever one human being chooses to sit beside another and simply say, "I am here."

Each time we listen to another's sorrow, we train our hearts to remain present. Over time, experience teaches us how to love more deeply and respond more gently. Perhaps this life is, as some have said, a training ground for eternity.

None of us wish to walk through life alone. If that is true for us, then it is equally true for every soul we meet. We are all part of the same divine creation.

May we accept the challenge to "love thy neighbour as thyself."

And perhaps, when we cannot honestly say, "I feel your pain," we can offer something just as healing:

"You do not have to carry it alone."