I find myself returning again to the subject of being a peacemaker. A quick look through my notes tells me this is the third or fourth time I’ve wrestled with it—and perhaps that’s the point. It’s not a lesson you learn once; it’s one you return to, over and over again.
Let me begin with a confession: I’m hardly the poster child for peacemaking. If you asked my housemate, you’d hear the honest truth. Despite my spiritual intentions, I still fall into patterns of frustration and sharp words, and I’m learning—through therapy, prayer, and practice—that peace isn’t passive. It’s built.
President Russell M. Nelson put it clearly in April 2023:
“Civility and decency seem to have disappeared during this era of polarization and passionate disagreements.”
I feel that not just in the headlines—but in my own living room. Sometimes, after a heated exchange, I find myself circling back, humbling myself again, apologizing again. This is not weakness—it’s the painful, real-time process of unlearning old behaviors and seeking something higher.
So, what does it mean to be a peacemaker?
Traits of Real Peacemakers
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They speak uncomfortable truths.
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They listen deeply to all sides.
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They work behind the scenes, not for applause but for healing.
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They aim not to win, but to reconcile.
History has shown us such people:
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Nelson Mandela forgave former oppressors and unified South Africa after apartheid.
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Mahatma Gandhi used nonviolence to resist colonial oppression and sectarian hatred.
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Anwar Sadat and Menachem Begin—once enemies—signed peace between Egypt and Israel.
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The Dalai Lama has spent a lifetime advocating for nonviolence through compassion.
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Pope Francis urges kindness across faiths, reminding us that war is always a failure.
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Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Liberia’s first female president, rebuilt her nation through reconciliation.
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António Guterres, at the UN, remains a calm and consistent voice for diplomacy in a chaotic world.
These peacemakers work on the global stage. But what about the living room stage? What about me?
Peace at Home is the Real Test
These global figures inspire me, but the real proving ground for peace isn’t in front of a microphone—it’s in the silence after an argument. It’s in my choice to cool down rather than heat up. It’s in the way I treat someone who disagrees with me—not just publicly, but privately.
Anger never persuades.
Hostility builds no one.
Contention never leads to inspired solutions.
These truths echo in both scripture and psychology. But even knowing them, I sometimes respond with silence—not the good, contemplative kind, but the kind that suppresses emotion until it erupts. For me, silence isn't peace. It's a pressure cooker sealed tight. Eventually, it blows.
I’m learning that peacemaking isn’t about pretending things are okay—it’s about addressing them with patience, humility, and a listening heart.
The Savior’s Model of Peace
Jesus didn’t just preach peace—He lived it in the face of hatred. He said:
“Blessed are the peacemakers.”
“Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you...”
This is not weakness. It is the most courageous way to live. And it’s the clearest sign of someone who walks in His steps.
As a follower of Christ—and as someone in recovery—I’m reminded that the real spiritual work isn’t in lofty thoughts, but in hard conversations, in moments of pause, and in the courage to say, “Help me, God,” before I say something I’ll regret.
Tools from AA and the Spirit
So I reach for what I’ve been given:
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Easy does it.
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Keep it simple.
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Pause before reacting.
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Pray for the right words.
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Stay in the present moment, not the past wound.
These are more than slogans. They are scaffolding for a better life.
And when I fail—and I will—I can rise again. With a softer heart. A slower tongue. A clearer prayer.
God help me until then.
Amen.
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