Dear Reader,
This past week, I’ve been confined to my room under quarantine with Covid-19. Add to that the stress of a house struggling with a mouse infestation, and I’ve found myself teetering on the edge of sanity. Childhood fears and poor health merged to ignite a deep internal fire — the kind that whispers, “It’s time to check out. Abandon all. No longer exist.”
I must admit: hope and faith were severely tested.
Then I came across a quote that offered a moment of clarity:
“Remain awake. Do not cling. Allow tension to teach you and truth to reveal itself.”
— from TinyBuddha writings
It reminded me that recovery is not about escaping discomfort. It is about enduring within it—about learning to live inside the paradox that it is through fire that steel is made.
Inviting the Paradox
“The Bodhisattva has no attachment to life or death, and yet vows to save all beings.”
— Zen Paradox
This paradox mirrors a deeper truth: we are meant to live in the space between opposites—between detachment and devotion, between surrender and action. Bill Wilson understood this when he wrote:
“We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 133
Recovery, at its heart, teaches us to be fully present without needing to control. We don’t escape life—we engage it honestly, even when it hurts.
Philosophy Meets Practice
So here I am, quarantined and unwell, yet choosing not to flee from my thoughts. Instead, I expand my perspective with the guidance of others:
“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
— Jiddu Krishnamurti
Step work teaches me to face truth and grow in spiritual understanding.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
— Joseph Campbell
I am supported by teachers from my past and those I choose to listen to today.
“Pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress.”
— Bill Wilson
“Opposition, difficulty, heartbreak, and sorrow are not only unavoidable—they are essential to the whole plan.”
— Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
“Men are, that they might have joy.”
— 2 Nephi 2:25
And joy, I’ve learned, doesn’t come by avoiding struggle—but by walking through it with God.
Letting the Tension Sing
There’s a quiet miracle in learning to let tension sing through us instead of shutting it down.
“What is to give light must endure burning.”
— Viktor Frankl
In recovery, we are not called to resolve every contradiction. Instead, we are called to become vessels of love, presence, and renewal—even in the fire.
My message is about wholeness, presence, and surrender.
“Ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ... with a perfect brightness of hope...”
— 2 Nephi 31:20
So I will stay in the fire.
I will do the next right thing.
And I will trust the process.
Amen.
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