Anger, Fear, Resentment, and Character Defects

Dear Reader,  

Today I was looking over some of my writings from one year ago to the day.  I found this subject and some references that have allowed me to explore the message in more depth.  The below is the result. 

 

A Reflection for Recovery and Inner Freedom 

    In recovery, we come face to face with many inner obstacles. None are more persistent or corrosive than anger, fear, resentment, and the deeper character defects they often reveal. 

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."  — Mark Twain 

Anger, when left unchecked, turns inward and becomes resentment—a slow poison to the soul. As we learn in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. It’s no surprise then that recovery calls for fearless moral inventories—not to punish ourselves but to uncover the wounds behind the reactions. 

“Your character defects are not where you’re bad, but where you’re wounded. But no matter who or what causes the wound, it’s yours now and you’re responsible for it.” 

— Marianne Williamson 

This is one of the hardest truths in recovery: we are responsible not for what was done to us, but for what we do with it now. Responsibility doesn’t mean shame. It means power—the power to heal, to release, and to grow. To see that our defects—be they anger, pride, self-pity, or judgment—are often not signs of evil but scars that never healed. 

As Bill Wilson wrote: 

“We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people… We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful.” 

— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67 

We also learn that fear is not just a passing emotion; it’s a chronic disconnection from the present and from trust in God. 

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. Without acknowledging our fear, and realizing that right now we are okay, we cannot fully be joyous and free." 

— Thich Nhat Hanh 

To be “joyous and free” means to live in the now, letting go of fear's control, and embracing a Higher Power who carries us through uncertainty. We start by naming our fears, seeing where they block us from action, intimacy, or truth. 

In doing this work, we inevitably encounter resentments—old injuries replayed in our minds like bad records. But the spiritual life reminds us that we cannot hold onto grudges and still hope for grace. 

“If you hug to yourself any resentment against anybody else, you destroy the bridge by which God would come to you.” 

— Peter Marshall 

Forgiveness, then, is not about ignoring wrongdoing. It’s about choosing freedom over the chains of bitterness. As Mosiah 26:29 declares: “If he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.” 

Even Christ, when faced with false judgment and scorn, responded not with resentment, but with divine clarity: 

"You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one… I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me." 

— John 8:15–18 

Christ teaches us to live from a place of identity and purpose, not reaction. He knew who He was and where He was going. In recovery, we too must rediscover our true selves—beneath the layers of defense, fear, and false pride. 

“In building a strong recovery one must inventory their character defects; exposing them for what they are and then releasing those holding us back from our best and God given future.” 

— Anonymous 

We are not defined by our defects but by our willingness to surrender them. And as we do, we begin to see that recovery is not about perfection—it’s about transformation. 

 

A Closing Thought: 

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” But in recovery, we might say, the examined life is where freedom begins. 

When we bring our defects into the light—with courage, faith, and honesty—we find healing not only for ourselves, but for those around us. 

Let us not be afraid of anger, fear, or resentment. Let us face them with God's help, and let them become doorways to the deeper life we were always meant to live. 

 

Thank you for listening. I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen 

Picture notes: Birds Representing emotional burdens being released. Sunlight breaking through clouds: Symbolizing clarity, grace, and the presence of a Higher Power. Hilltop or high place: Reflecting spiritual elevation and a shift in perspective.