The Courage to Endure, the Wisdom to Change

 

Dear Reader, 

Today, I would like to reflect on two quotations from my daily readings:

“But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”
—Ernest Hemingway

And:

“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.”
—Confucius

At first, these statements may appear strikingly contradictory.

Hemingway encourages us to remain unconquered—to hold firmly to something within ourselves that suffering cannot destroy.

Confucius reminds us that life requires change. Unless we possess perfect wisdom, refusing to change may not be strength at all. It may simply be pride, fear, or stubbornness.

I can look back upon times when I needed to persevere through a programming assignment even though I felt physically and mentally exhausted. The result was a system that allowed cargo to move from shipside to land transportation with little or no written paperwork.

I can also remember times when feeling unconquerable caused me to push my coding abilities beyond my training. My pride and stubbornness nearly cost me the project—and possibly my employment.

Both experiences required determination, but only one was guided by wisdom.

For me, the common thread between these quotations is found in learning the difference between perseverance and resistance.

We do not need to lose a relationship simply to prove that we are right or to win an argument. Standing firm is not always prudent when our choices may affect our health, a cherished dream, or our relationship with a loving partner or child.

Humility allows us to acknowledge our wounds without allowing those wounds to define us. Through humility, we can rise again, learn again, and rediscover hope in the grace of God.

During difficult times, I have found it helpful to become still before God and release old opinions, familiar resentments, and unhealthy habits. In such moments, holding on may not represent strength or honor. It may instead reveal pride, selfishness, or fear.

Sometimes our greatest victory comes from refusing to give up.

At other times, victory comes from admitting that our present way of thinking is no longer leading us toward peace, truth, or spiritual growth.

Recovery has taught me that surrender is not defeat.

Faith has taught me that change is not weakness.

The challenge is knowing which moment we are facing.

What within me must remain steadfast?

What within me must be willing to change?

The Serenity Prayer expresses this balance beautifully:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”

The bridge between Hemingway and Confucius is found in that final phrase:

The wisdom to know the difference.

We are not made for defeat—but neither are we made to remain unchanged.

God does not ask us to surrender our hope. He asks us to surrender whatever prevents hope from transforming us.

May we have the courage to endure what life places before us, the humility to change what God reveals within us, and the wisdom to recognize the difference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please share in the comments any experiences that have helped you understand when to stand firm and when to let go.

🙏🏻🧘‍♂️💕🤗☮️