Where Spirituality Becomes Real

 

Dear Reader,

I have heard a saying in recovery circles:

"Man created religion; God created spirituality."

As I have reflected on those words, I have found myself drawn a little deeper into the thought.

My experience in Alcoholics Anonymous has clearly demonstrated to me that an awareness of a Higher Power is essential to the spiritual life I try to live today. Yet I have also come to believe that we should be careful not to dismiss religion simply because the word itself may carry difficult memories or experiences.

I do not argue with those who have found formal religion difficult to accept. There are understandable reasons why some people have stepped away from churches, doctrines, and religious institutions.

But neither would I automatically reject a religious tradition, theology, or community that helps a person discover principles by which life becomes freer, happier, more compassionate, and more useful.

Perhaps the question is not simply religion or spirituality.

Perhaps the greater question is:

Where does our spirituality find somewhere to live?

When I consider my own life, I realize that community and my understanding of a Higher Power have worked together in molding the person I am today.

My family—both by blood and by extension—is vital to that life.

Spirituality may awaken within the individual, but most of us still need a here-and-now community in which that spirituality can take root.

We need places where we gather.

We need people who know our names.

We need people who notice when we are missing, celebrate with us when life is going well, and sit beside us when life becomes difficult.

Call it what you will.

I sometimes think of it as my religion-of-life.

Religion, at its best, can provide such a place. It gives us traditions, sacred stories, prayer, worship, service, and a community in which we attempt to practice what we say we believe.

But if someone cannot feel at home within a church or other formal religious structure, perhaps there is another place to begin.

Begin with family.

And by family, I mean much more than blood.

Family may include parents and children, brothers and sisters, grandchildren and grandparents. But over a lifetime its boundaries can expand.

A friend may become a brother.

A neighbor may become family.

A church congregation, a recovery fellowship, or simply a community of people walking through life together may provide relationships every bit as meaningful as those created by blood.

Perhaps this expanded family is one of the places where spirituality becomes most visible.

It is relatively easy to speak about love.

It is much harder to practice it.

Family asks us to forgive the person we thought we had already forgiven yesterday.

It teaches us patience when patience is inconvenient.

It requires us to listen when we would rather speak, to remain present when walking away would be easier, and sometimes simply to sit beside another person when there are no words capable of fixing what hurts.

These are not merely family experiences.

They are spiritual experiences.

My belief is: spirituality is not found only in moments of prayer, meditation, scripture, temples, churches, or quiet contemplation.

It is also found around the dinner table.

In a telephone call to someone who is lonely.

In caring for a child.

In forgiving an old hurt.

In welcoming someone who once stood outside our circle.

In becoming family to someone who needs one.

Religion may give us a language for God.

Spirituality may awaken our awareness of God.

But loving one another may be where we finally begin to experience God.

Perhaps that is why our earthly relationships matter so deeply.

They give eternal principles somewhere to live.

And maybe, in the end, spirituality is not primarily about how high our thoughts can reach toward heaven.

Perhaps it is about how completely the love of heaven can pass through us and reach the person sitting beside us.

Religion may provide the gathering place.
Spirituality may awaken the soul.
But love creates the family—and within that family, spirituality becomes real.

🙏🧘‍♂️💕🤗☮️