Forgiveness Amends

"Forgive Them, Father, for They Know Not What They Do", Luke 23:34

Forgiveness is a subject that many AA members must confront. Most of us desire immediate forgiveness after making amends. However, the error in this wish is that we seldom truly seek to atone for our mistakes. Saying "I am sorry" is only the first step. The real challenge lies in changing the behavior that led to the mistake in the first place.

A quote from Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book), p. 79 reinforces this idea:“Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be.”Not only must we sweep off our side of the street, but we must also keep the broom and dustpan handy to ensure it remains clean.

True amends require the willingness to change our behavior despite our personal discomfort. This journey leads to the end of our isolation from both our fellows and from God (Big Book, p. 82). It is here that we take on a lifetime journey of honest, humble growth and concern for others.

A Lifelong Commitment to Justice, Mercy, and Humility

The scriptures provide us with a clear directive regarding amends and forgiveness. In Micah 6:8, we read:"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

Similarly, Matthew 5:23-24 instructs:“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

These verses emphasize that reconciliation and repentance are essential before we can truly move forward in our spiritual journey.

Repentance: A Continuous Process

President Gordon B. Hinckley, in a 2000 LDS General Conference address, captured the essence of living amends:“The remedy for most problems is found in repentance. It is not easy. It requires pain. It requires great humility. It requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit. It requires a deep sense of gratitude coupled with a strong determination to be better. It involves a constant, unending process of trying to improve.”

Making amends is not a one-time event but a lifelong process of becoming better. As we seek forgiveness, we must also consider the need for repentance and a true transformation of who we are. Genuine sorrow is reflected not just in words, but in a lasting change within the heart.

Elder Holland Reveals the POWER of the LAMB of God

Judgment and Self-Awareness

Today, I found myself judging another person’s actions. Although his work was good and acceptable, I believed I could do it better and more efficiently. However, I was soon reminded of a quote from Carl Jung that directly addressed this type of judgment:

“If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could be better changed in ourselves.”

This is not to say that the person I judged is a child, but rather that the act of judging requires self-reflection. As Bill Wilson wisely stated:

“It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.” – Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (p. 90)

Simply put, our reactions often reflect our own internal struggles rather than external circumstances.

The Power of Self-Reflection

Regularly reassessing our judgments leads to personal growth and a deeper understanding of others. Aristotle captured this idea concisely:

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

When I take the time to examine the causes of my judgments, I open the door to acceptance or, better yet, new and improved ways of thinking and doing things that I had not previously considered.

A Scriptural Perspective on Judgment

The Bible offers profound wisdom on the nature of judgment and self-awareness. In Luke 6:41-42, Jesus teaches:

“Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but fail to notice the beam in your own eye? How can you say, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while you yourself fail to see the beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

John 7:24 further instructs us:

“Judge not according to the appearance but judge righteous judgment.”

This teaches us that true discernment requires looking beyond superficial judgments and seeking deeper understanding.

Guidance from Modern Prophets

Elder Dean L. Larsen emphasized the necessity of self-examination, stating:

“All of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within as to who and what we want to be.”

Similarly, Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained that the Final Judgment evaluates “the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become,” underscoring the importance of continuous self-assessment.

A Shift from Judgment to Growth

In the end, I am left with a new process—not one of judgment, but of learning. Rather than focusing on others’ actions, I strive to understand what led me to judge in the first place and how I can use that insight to become a better person.

By shifting from judgment to self-awareness, we create opportunities for personal growth, compassion, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and those around us.

Championing Prudence

Sometimes, life feels like a maze of events. We all experience days where everything seems to lead us further away from our purpose, leaving us entangled in frustration and searching for a way out. These moments can be disorienting, making it difficult to see the path ahead. 

  

Over the years, by applying the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), I have found the words of Bill Wilson to ring true: 

  

"Prudence in practice creates a definite climate, the only climate in which harmony, effectiveness, and consistent spiritual progress can be achieved." 

— As Bill Sees It: Courage and Prudence, p. 91 

  

This climate of harmony, effectiveness, and spiritual growth begins with slowing down our thoughts. The first steps are taking a moment for prayer and embracing a beautiful thought. If time allows, meditation can bring deeper clarity. If not, a simple mental image of a quiet beach, mountain, or meadow can serve as a refuge from the relentless pace of life. As Bernard Berenson wisely expressed: 

  

“I would, I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me their wasted hours.” 

  

It takes less than a minute to switch tracks from the chaos of life to a place of peace and reflection. 

  

Prudence is often overlooked, yet it is a fundamental virtue. As Voltaire noted: 

  

"Prudence is a universal virtue, which enters into the composition of all the rest; and where she is not, fortitude loses its name and nature." 

  

Thomas Aquinas, the great medieval theologian, regarded prudence as the guiding force of all virtues, calling it the "charioteer of the virtues." It steers and measures other virtues, ensuring they are applied wisely. 

  

As you begin your day, consider the wisdom of Publilius Syrus, a Latin writer of maxims: 

  

"Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm." 

  

True prudence reveals itself in navigating life’s storms, not merely in moments of ease. Quiet and deliberate thought will always accomplish more than scattered and random actions. 

  

The Bible offers timeless wisdom on this matter: 

  

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." 

— (Psalm 1:2-3, KJV) 

  

Similarly, the Book of Mormon echoes this thought: 

  

"And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit." 

— (Alma 32:37) 

  

By embracing prudence, we cultivate a life rooted in wisdom, allowing us to navigate difficulties with grace and purpose. The careful nourishment of our thoughts and actions will ultimately bear fruit, guiding us toward a life of spiritual fulfillment and peace. 

No One Denied Me Love

The Daily Reflections for March 31 was titled "No One Denied Me Love." As I reflected on the message, I realized that for the greater part of my life since recovery, this is unquestionably true.

Back in 1988, by reaching out for help, I was accepted as a person of value. The members of Alcoholics Anonymous did not question my sexual orientation, employment status, or legal standing. They only wanted me to come back and join them in the joy they had found.

Two AA phrases come immediately to mind:

“Love and tolerance of others is our code.” – Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book), p. 84“We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.” – Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book), p. 17

As I accepted the love and genuine care I found in the rooms of AA, I was able to use the strength of that feeling to change my life and to extend the same love to others.

Love Through the Lens of Scholars and Great Thinkers

Much has been said by scholars and great thinkers about the power of extending love to others. Here are some thoughts contributing to the idea of "No One Denied Love":

“The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” — Henry Miller“A loving heart is the truest wisdom.” — Charles Dickens“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” — Martin Luther King Jr.“To love another person is to see the face of God.” — Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I could leave the conversation here, yet sobriety is not my only growth over the years. A deep sense of spirituality has also brought power to No One Denied Me Love. To the above thoughts, I now add a formalized faith-driven response.

Love Through the Lens of Faith

From The Bible:

Romans 8:38-39“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:7-8“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

From The Book of Mormon:

2 Nephi 26:33“He inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.”

Moroni 7:47-48“But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love.”

Doctrine and Covenants 18:10“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.”

A Final Thought from Jeffrey R. Holland:

“However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made … or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love.”— Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Laborers in the Vineyard,” April 2012 General Conference

A Personal Truth: I put forward my truth that the love found in AA, the wisdom of scholars, and the unwavering embrace of faith have beautifully shaped me into the person I am today. No one denied me love, and now I strive to ensure that no one else is denied love either.

Listening to Voices of Silence

In Journey of the Heart today, the lead-in phrase was "Who or What Is Pulling on You?" I related deeply to this, as over the past week, I have received silent messages prompting me to reconnect with family and friends.

Since becoming sober, I have noticed that these silent messages carry a power of their own. The act of "listening" to these 'voices of silence' can be understood as a process of letting go—releasing the internal noise, obsessive thoughts, and self-destructive chatter that often cloud our ability to connect with a deeper, healing stillness. In the quiet, we engage in self-reflection, humility, and true listening—where individuals confront their inner struggles, acknowledge their emotions, and ultimately find peace through surrender.

Bill Wilson captured this idea beautifully when he wrote: “We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis, it was only there that He may be found.” (AA Big Book, p. 55) True wisdom, as Wilson suggests, is not found in endless speaking but in looking inward with silence.

The Timeless Wisdom of Silence

There are many sources beyond AA that recognize the profound power of silence. Across cultures and philosophies, silence has been seen as a gateway to wisdom and inner peace. Here are a few perspectives:

Ancient Wisdom on Silence

• “Silence is a source of great strength.” — Tao Te Ching

• “He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.” — Tao Te Ching

• “When the mouth is silent, the mind speaks; when the mind is silent, the soul speaks.” — Buddhist Teachings

• “Do not speak unless it improves upon the silence.” — Buddhist Teachings

Religious and Spiritual Teachings

• “He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” — Elbert Hubbard

• “Silence is the language of God. All else is poor translation.” — Rumi (Sufi Mysticism)

• “God’s first language is silence.” — St. John of the Cross

• “Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

• “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” — Proverbs 17:28

LDS Teachings on Silence

• “We need quiet time to recognize promptings of the Spirit. It is in the moments of quiet reflection that personal revelation comes.” — Elder Richard G. Scott, "To Acquire Spiritual Guidance," General Conference, October 2009

• “In moments of silence, we hear promptings that shape our souls and guide our footsteps along the path of righteousness.” — President David O. McKay

The Power of Embracing Silence

Silence is not emptiness—it is a space where the most profound truths reveal themselves. Whether in personal reflection, spiritual practice, or recovery, learning to embrace stillness can open the door to clarity, wisdom, and inner peace. When we listen—truly listen—to the voices of silence, we may find that they carry the guidance we have been seeking all along.

The Light of Truth

In pursuing thoughts on truth and non-truth, I came across a compelling quote from Plato’s Republic:

"And if he is compelled to look straight at the light, will he not have pain in his eyes which will make him turn away to take refuge in the objects of vision which he can see, and which he will conceive to be clearer than what is now being shown to him?" (Republic 516a)

This quote struck a chord with me, as there was a time when the idea of turning to a higher power for help seemed as absurd as planning my future based on a fortune cookie. I preferred the darkness of denial.

Plato's allegory describes a prisoner who has been kept in darkness. When he is finally freed and exposed to sunlight, he initially resists, believing that what he sees cannot be real. This resistance to truth and enlightenment is a common experience, especially for those struggling with addiction or personal transformation.

A similar thought appears in Alcoholics Anonymous:

"Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.""See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others."

Only a sliver of light is necessary to show the way.

Jean-Paul Sartre echoes this sentiment in Beyond Good and Evil (1886):

"Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed."

This resistance to truth, however, is not a sign of failure but a necessary struggle on the path to enlightenment. In Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (p. 21), we find:

"We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built."

Philosophical and Literary Support for Light Over Darkness

    Aristotle: "It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."

    Seneca: "Even in the darkest night, a single candle can defy and define the darkness."

    Immanuel Kant: "Enlightenment is man’s emergence from his self-imposed immaturity."

    C.S. Lewis: "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

    J.R.R. Tolkien (The Lord of the Rings): "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

Religious Perspectives on Moving from Darkness to Light

Old Testament

Psalm 119:105 – "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."

    Malachi 4:2 – "But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings."

New Testament

    Matthew 5:14-16 – "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

    Ephesians 5:8 – "For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light."

    2 Corinthians 4:6 – "For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

    2 Nephi 2:11 (Book of Mormon) – "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad."

    Doctrine and Covenants 50:24 – "That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."

    President Thomas S. Monson – "The pathway of life can be difficult. The way back to our Heavenly Father is not easy, but the light of Christ will show us the way."

    Elder Jeffrey R. Holland – "Because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path."

Conclusion
All of these scriptures, philosophical insights, and literary perspectives emphasize the same truth: moving toward the light—whether through faith, righteousness, or divine guidance—brings peace, understanding, joy, and eternal reward. Whether in the struggles of addiction, personal growth, or the pursuit of wisdom, the transition from darkness to light is the foundation of transformation. May we all continue to seek the light, trusting that even a small candle can illuminate the path ahead.