Forgiveness Amends

"Forgive Them, Father, for They Know Not What They Do", Luke 23:34

Forgiveness is a subject that many AA members must confront. Most of us desire immediate forgiveness after making amends. However, the error in this wish is that we seldom truly seek to atone for our mistakes. Saying "I am sorry" is only the first step. The real challenge lies in changing the behavior that led to the mistake in the first place.

A quote from Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book), p. 79 reinforces this idea:“Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be.”Not only must we sweep off our side of the street, but we must also keep the broom and dustpan handy to ensure it remains clean.

True amends require the willingness to change our behavior despite our personal discomfort. This journey leads to the end of our isolation from both our fellows and from God (Big Book, p. 82). It is here that we take on a lifetime journey of honest, humble growth and concern for others.

A Lifelong Commitment to Justice, Mercy, and Humility

The scriptures provide us with a clear directive regarding amends and forgiveness. In Micah 6:8, we read:"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

Similarly, Matthew 5:23-24 instructs:“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

These verses emphasize that reconciliation and repentance are essential before we can truly move forward in our spiritual journey.

Repentance: A Continuous Process

President Gordon B. Hinckley, in a 2000 LDS General Conference address, captured the essence of living amends:“The remedy for most problems is found in repentance. It is not easy. It requires pain. It requires great humility. It requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit. It requires a deep sense of gratitude coupled with a strong determination to be better. It involves a constant, unending process of trying to improve.”

Making amends is not a one-time event but a lifelong process of becoming better. As we seek forgiveness, we must also consider the need for repentance and a true transformation of who we are. Genuine sorrow is reflected not just in words, but in a lasting change within the heart.