Eternal Marriage: A Covenant Beyond Mortality

 

Today, I was asked to examine the eternity of marriage.

The typical marriage vow ends with the familiar phrase: "until death do us part." This wording suggests that marriage ends with the close of mortality. In Matthew 22:30, Christ teaches:

"At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven."

Jesus said this in response to a legal question from the Pharisees regarding the Law of Moses, particularly about marriage and inheritance if a husband died without leaving an heir. As I see it, Christ was specifically addressing Jewish law as set by Moses.

But marriage, at its deepest level, is more than a legal contract—it is a covenant between two individuals and God.

Marriage Through an Eternal Lens

Looking at marriage through the eyes of eternity, we find in Genesis 2:24:

“And they shall be one flesh.”

This profound statement points to a divine union, a covenant that symbolizes something far greater than earthly companionship—an enduring connection with God’s plan for His children.

If marriage is a covenant, then it needs to be sealed by someone who holds priesthood keys—the authority to act in God's name. Christ promised this sacred sealing power to His disciples in Matthew 16:19:

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

The Power to Bind and Loose

Interestingly, the words bind and loose in Hebrew during the first century A.D. carried specific rabbinical meanings:

• To bind: to forbid or declare unlawful

• To loose: to permit or declare lawful

Applied to marriage, binding a covenant on earth through proper priesthood authority makes it lawful—and thus binding—in heaven. In contrast, sin, when bound on earth (declared unlawful), remains bound unless repented of.

This understanding helps settle the seeming tension between Matthew 22:30 (where marriage seems temporary) and the concept of eternal marriage. Both teachings are correct when properly understood in context. Christ answered the Pharisees regarding earthly law, but His Gospel also revealed the higher law: the eternal nature of covenants made by His authority.

Marriage Under the Law of Moses and Christ’s Restoration

The Law of Moses provided ways to protect widows and ensure the continuation of covenant families. Marriage covenants needed to be preserved because they were made with God and were sealed by priesthood authority—both anciently and now through the Restoration of Christ's Church.

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Eternal Marriage in Modern Teachings

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints provides clear teachings about eternal marriage:

📖 Doctrine and Covenants 132:19

“If a man marry a wife by my word... and by the new and everlasting covenant... it shall be of full force when they are out of the world.”

📜 The Family: A Proclamation to the World

“Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God... and family relationships can be perpetuated beyond the grave.”

🧠 Teachings of Modern Prophets

“The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

President Russell M. Nelson said:

“The earth was created and temples built so that families could be sealed together for time and for all eternity.”

Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught:

“The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person in the right place by the right authority.”

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💭 Summary

When viewed solely through the lens of earthly tradition, marriage appears to end at death. However, through the authority of Jesus Christ and the restoration of priesthood keys, we understand that marriage—when entered into properly—can endure beyond the grave.

Through sacred covenants made in holy temples, families and marriages can be bound for time and all eternity, fulfilling God’s divine plan for His children.

No Good News

What do you do when you are confronted with day after day, hour after hour, even minute after minute of no good news? Tonight, I was listening to talks from previous speakers at my church's general conferences.

In one of the talks, the speaker relayed a story about a nine-year-old being accidentally run over by his father while backing out of a driveway. At that very moment, I needed to stop listening. I was unable to take into my thoughts one more catastrophic event.

I now write a little later. I went back and completed the talk. I learned that through the power of the Holy Ghost, the gentleman’s wife, and a ministering companion, the father was able to find himself again and survive the pain of his son's loss. Had I never gone back and finished the talk, I would have missed my lesson—the lesson of what we can do when faced with such an event in our lives.

We can draw upon the strength found in the grace of the Holy Ghost and our commitment to serving our fellow men to comfort and potentially save the life of a suffering friend.

In recovery, we will face times where our emotions will be stretched, yet we are taught to turn these emotions into strengths. There is an AA saying: "Fear knocked at the door; faith answered. No one was there." And as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous teaches: "Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. 'How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.' These are thoughts which must go with us constantly." (p. 85)

I am reminded in the writings of C.S. Lewis that seeking God's will, rather than our own, brings true fulfillment and identity. He wrote: “The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become—because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.” — Mere Christianity

From a spiritual point of view, we should not fear the sorrows of our world but take up the challenge to help in the healing of such suffering.

In Isaiah 41:10, we are taught: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." This is a call to overcome fear and trust in God's strength while serving others.

In Doctrine and Covenants 81:5, we are told: "Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees." This is a direct command to seek out and help those in distress.

In the end, I have learned that even though there may be things in this life I do not want to hear, the same may be just the lesson I need to hear in order to become the person I search after.

The Seed, the Plant, the Tree, and the Forest

It is a fundamental observation of the natural world that trees grow from seeds. In the case of the great redwood trees, their seeds must be cracked open under fiery conditions before they can sprout. Similarly, recovery begins with small steps and continues to grow as we exercise these steps in our daily lives. From hospitals and institutions, our members have grown into highly respected contributors to the lives around them.

This transformation is not due to God singling us out for special favors. It is simply a law of life: when we are interested in a subject, we find more knowledge coming to us almost "out of the blue" as we continue to seek it. It is as if hidden forces were gathering up ideas and pushing them in our direction.

This is the "new freedom and new happiness" promised in the AA Big Book (p. 83-84).  

The concept of "seeds becoming forests" resonates deeply across various disciplines, including philosophy, ecology, and spirituality. Here are some inspiring examples:

Ralph Waldo Emerson: "The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn."

Greek Proverb: "A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." This emphasizes the long-term impact of individual actions on the larger community.

Martin Luther: "Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."

A simple search will provide many more examples, reinforcing the powerful truth that small actions lead to great outcomes.

Turning to the spirituality of planting a seed, we find beautiful examples in theology:

Matthew 13:31-32 (Parable of the Mustard Seed):

"The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field: Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof."

Ezekiel 17:22-24 (God Plants a Small Sprig that Becomes a Mighty Tree):

"Thus saith the Lord God; I will also take of the highest branch of the high cedar, and will set it; I will crop off from the top of his young twigs a tender one, and will plant it upon a high mountain and eminent: In the mountain of the height of Israel will I plant it: and it shall bring forth boughs, and bear fruit, and be a goodly cedar: and under it shall dwell all fowl of every wing; in the shadow of the branches thereof shall they dwell."

Doctrine and Covenants 64:33:

"Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great."

Final Thoughts

The journey from a single seed to a vast forest mirrors our own spiritual and personal growth. Small, faithful efforts—whether in recovery, learning, or faith—can lead to extraordinary outcomes. As we continue planting these seeds, we nurture not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us, contributing to a flourishing, interconnected forest of hope and renewal.

Forgiveness Amends

"Forgive Them, Father, for They Know Not What They Do", Luke 23:34

Forgiveness is a subject that many AA members must confront. Most of us desire immediate forgiveness after making amends. However, the error in this wish is that we seldom truly seek to atone for our mistakes. Saying "I am sorry" is only the first step. The real challenge lies in changing the behavior that led to the mistake in the first place.

A quote from Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book), p. 79 reinforces this idea:“Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be.”Not only must we sweep off our side of the street, but we must also keep the broom and dustpan handy to ensure it remains clean.

True amends require the willingness to change our behavior despite our personal discomfort. This journey leads to the end of our isolation from both our fellows and from God (Big Book, p. 82). It is here that we take on a lifetime journey of honest, humble growth and concern for others.

A Lifelong Commitment to Justice, Mercy, and Humility

The scriptures provide us with a clear directive regarding amends and forgiveness. In Micah 6:8, we read:"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

Similarly, Matthew 5:23-24 instructs:“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

These verses emphasize that reconciliation and repentance are essential before we can truly move forward in our spiritual journey.

Repentance: A Continuous Process

President Gordon B. Hinckley, in a 2000 LDS General Conference address, captured the essence of living amends:“The remedy for most problems is found in repentance. It is not easy. It requires pain. It requires great humility. It requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit. It requires a deep sense of gratitude coupled with a strong determination to be better. It involves a constant, unending process of trying to improve.”

Making amends is not a one-time event but a lifelong process of becoming better. As we seek forgiveness, we must also consider the need for repentance and a true transformation of who we are. Genuine sorrow is reflected not just in words, but in a lasting change within the heart.

Elder Holland Reveals the POWER of the LAMB of God

Judgment and Self-Awareness

Today, I found myself judging another person’s actions. Although his work was good and acceptable, I believed I could do it better and more efficiently. However, I was soon reminded of a quote from Carl Jung that directly addressed this type of judgment:

“If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could be better changed in ourselves.”

This is not to say that the person I judged is a child, but rather that the act of judging requires self-reflection. As Bill Wilson wisely stated:

“It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.” – Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (p. 90)

Simply put, our reactions often reflect our own internal struggles rather than external circumstances.

The Power of Self-Reflection

Regularly reassessing our judgments leads to personal growth and a deeper understanding of others. Aristotle captured this idea concisely:

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

When I take the time to examine the causes of my judgments, I open the door to acceptance or, better yet, new and improved ways of thinking and doing things that I had not previously considered.

A Scriptural Perspective on Judgment

The Bible offers profound wisdom on the nature of judgment and self-awareness. In Luke 6:41-42, Jesus teaches:

“Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but fail to notice the beam in your own eye? How can you say, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while you yourself fail to see the beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

John 7:24 further instructs us:

“Judge not according to the appearance but judge righteous judgment.”

This teaches us that true discernment requires looking beyond superficial judgments and seeking deeper understanding.

Guidance from Modern Prophets

Elder Dean L. Larsen emphasized the necessity of self-examination, stating:

“All of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within as to who and what we want to be.”

Similarly, Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained that the Final Judgment evaluates “the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become,” underscoring the importance of continuous self-assessment.

A Shift from Judgment to Growth

In the end, I am left with a new process—not one of judgment, but of learning. Rather than focusing on others’ actions, I strive to understand what led me to judge in the first place and how I can use that insight to become a better person.

By shifting from judgment to self-awareness, we create opportunities for personal growth, compassion, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and those around us.

Championing Prudence

Sometimes, life feels like a maze of events. We all experience days where everything seems to lead us further away from our purpose, leaving us entangled in frustration and searching for a way out. These moments can be disorienting, making it difficult to see the path ahead. 

  

Over the years, by applying the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), I have found the words of Bill Wilson to ring true: 

  

"Prudence in practice creates a definite climate, the only climate in which harmony, effectiveness, and consistent spiritual progress can be achieved." 

— As Bill Sees It: Courage and Prudence, p. 91 

  

This climate of harmony, effectiveness, and spiritual growth begins with slowing down our thoughts. The first steps are taking a moment for prayer and embracing a beautiful thought. If time allows, meditation can bring deeper clarity. If not, a simple mental image of a quiet beach, mountain, or meadow can serve as a refuge from the relentless pace of life. As Bernard Berenson wisely expressed: 

  

“I would, I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me their wasted hours.” 

  

It takes less than a minute to switch tracks from the chaos of life to a place of peace and reflection. 

  

Prudence is often overlooked, yet it is a fundamental virtue. As Voltaire noted: 

  

"Prudence is a universal virtue, which enters into the composition of all the rest; and where she is not, fortitude loses its name and nature." 

  

Thomas Aquinas, the great medieval theologian, regarded prudence as the guiding force of all virtues, calling it the "charioteer of the virtues." It steers and measures other virtues, ensuring they are applied wisely. 

  

As you begin your day, consider the wisdom of Publilius Syrus, a Latin writer of maxims: 

  

"Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm." 

  

True prudence reveals itself in navigating life’s storms, not merely in moments of ease. Quiet and deliberate thought will always accomplish more than scattered and random actions. 

  

The Bible offers timeless wisdom on this matter: 

  

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." 

— (Psalm 1:2-3, KJV) 

  

Similarly, the Book of Mormon echoes this thought: 

  

"And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit." 

— (Alma 32:37) 

  

By embracing prudence, we cultivate a life rooted in wisdom, allowing us to navigate difficulties with grace and purpose. The careful nourishment of our thoughts and actions will ultimately bear fruit, guiding us toward a life of spiritual fulfillment and peace.