True Family

  

After talking with my brother and looking at the subject of a father's wishes in Proverbs yesterday, I am now looking at the changes in family perception that I might have.  

When I first came to AA, I thought "family" meant only those I was born to. Yet over time, I found a new family — not one linked by blood, but by mutual love, service, and a shared journey out of darkness.  

AA teaches me that God often gifts me with a family I never expected. Each meeting, each service commitment, and each person I sponsor deepens those bonds. We are brought together not by chance, but by divine design, a royal priesthood called to carry light into the world.  

In AA, we put our hearts and minds together — not to relive the wreckage of the past — but to create a new life for ourselves and those who come after us. Through respect, joy, and service, we build a family that reflects the love and freedom God intended.  

  

Today, I give thanks for the family I have found — the one God created through recovery, fellowship, and love. So my current sense of belonging rises first with the members of AA.  As Richard Bach has said: "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life." We have heard it said: " You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." -- Desmond Tutu  

Yet, In the case of AA, I feel the members of our program are also God's gift to us.  I truly feel we " are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9 

 

"The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous has become the main center of their lives. They have found a new family." (12x12)   AA very literally says new family! It’s a family chosen through healing and hope. 

•  "We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 17) 

• "When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us! ... We had discovered a common solution." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 25) 

• Spiritually speaking, this mirrors the 1 Peter verse: being called into the light, forming a chosen people through recovery. 

AA promises not just a fellowship but a family filled with happiness, service, and shared hope: 

• "We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us."  (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 133) 

• "Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 89) 

• "Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be."  

• "Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have — the key to life and happiness for others."  (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 124) 

  

Today, I give thanks for the family I have found — the one God created through recovery, fellowship, and love.   

 

Reflection: 

Am I showing up for my AA family with the same love, respect, and joy that I would for those closest to me? How can I strengthen the bonds of the true family God has given me today? 

 "God, help me to be a true family member to those You've placed in my life today, showing love, service, and joy." 

A Father's Guidance: Lessons from Proverbs 4

 

In one of my readings today, I came across Proverbs 4. As I read through the scripture, I began to reflect on a relationship that became even more meaningful after my mother’s passing. At the time, I was just 20 years old. Losing her impacted me deeply — in ways I’m still uncovering today. I’m sure it also affected my father, but instead of being consumed by his own grief, he chose to focus on me, supporting and guiding me through my pain.

A Father’s Example

Although I may not have fully appreciated or followed his guidance at the time, my father gave me an example that would later govern my life. As he often reminded me, “He, too, was once my father’s son.”

Through his actions and words, my father taught me to seek wisdom and develop good judgment. He showed me the importance of finding wise counsel among those around me. Later in life, I realized how his lessons prepared me for the guidance of a good AA sponsor. In my recovery journey, the 12 steps of AA became a powerful foundation, figuratively "presenting me with a beautiful crown" — just as Proverbs 4 describes.

The Life I Live Today

Today, the life I live is built upon the values my father instilled in me: love, kindness, and the constant support of family. I have found that these principles have given me a life that is rich and meaningful — one that, in many ways, stands alongside the best lives of anyone I encounter.

As Proverbs 4 promises, "I can walk and won't be held back, I can run and won't stumble."

And all of this is because I chose to "hold on to my father’s instructions and did not let them go." As Proverbs teaches, "Guard them, for they are the key to life."

A Lasting Wisdom

May I never "lose sight of them." May I "let them penetrate deep into [my] heart," because "they bring life to those who find them and healing to their whole body."

Proverbs 4 ends with these valuable reminders:

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech.
Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.
Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path.
Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil."

I encourage anyone reading this: even if life brings loss or hard changes, God often places people — a parent, a mentor, or a friend — to guide you. And ultimately, He calls each of us to "hold on to instruction, do not let it go" (Proverbs 4:13).

I had a Dream: The Dream that Reminded me of Acceptance and Healing

 

Last night, I had a dream that left a deep impression on me. In it, I was at a beautiful restaurant with a friend. The restaurant had a bar decorated with items that stirred memories of my childhood home. As we admired the atmosphere, my friend mentioned that the bartender had a special brand of liquor — one I had never tasted before.

Curious but aware of my journey as an alcoholic in recovery, I initially declined. But as time passed and the social atmosphere warmed with the bartender’s friendliness, I gave in. I tasted the liquor. It was so mild and smooth, it hardly seemed dangerous.

Almost immediately, things began to unravel. I made excuses not to go home where my wife was preparing dinner. I foolishly offered to buy decorations for more money than I could afford. And when I finally got into my car to leave, I couldn’t remember the way home.

Thankfully, I woke up — relieved it had only been a dream. Yet I was left with a heavy feeling, almost like a mental hangover, wondering how something so wrong could seem so right while dreaming.

Reflection

As I pondered the dream, several recent patterns in my life came to mind:

• I had attended events I didn’t truly want to go to.

• I had become frustrated by long-postponed chores.

• I rushed through my daily prayer and meditation, distracted by my endless to-do list.

• My daily routines had changed.

• I was eating poorly and taking responsibility for things that weren’t mine to manage.

• Most importantly, I was trying to control my life instead of surrendering to God.

In short, my spiritual health was out of sync — despite years of sobriety and experience in the program.

From the co-founders of AA, we are reminded how dangerous this can be:

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."
— Bill Wilson (Big Book, p. 37)

"There is a definite turning point in the life of every alcoholic. I knew when it came for me, but if I had not been willing to accept and act upon the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I might have gone back to the hospital innumerable times."
— Dr. Bob Smith (Dr. Bob’s Nightmare, p. 181)

Both Bill W. and Dr. Bob emphasize that without acceptance and action, relapse becomes almost inevitable.

Acceptance and Spirituality Go Hand in Hand

Healing does not come from fighting reality; it begins with acceptance — acceptance of our brokenness, our need for God, and our inability to save ourselves.

Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest and theologian, writes:

"Healing begins with acceptance, not with demands to change. When we accept ourselves and others in our brokenness, we become participants in the grace of God."

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar and theologian, echoes this:

"God comes to us disguised as our life. When we can accept what is — especially the unacceptable — we are touching God’s grace, and healing becomes possible."

Scripture, too, affirms this truth:

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
— 2 Corinthians 12:9 (New Testament)

In the Book of Mormon, we hear a similar plea:

"O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God."
— Mosiah 4:2

Trusting God's Healing Power

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland shared a powerful message of hope:

"Believe in miracles. Hope is never lost. Accept that healing may come in different ways, but know that healing will come. Trust God."
— Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Like a Broken Vessel,” General Conference, Oct 2013

And President Russell M. Nelson taught:

"When we choose to repent, we choose to change! We allow the Savior to transform us into the best version of ourselves. We choose to grow spiritually and receive joy—the joy of redemption in Him."
— President Russell M. Nelson, General Conference, Apr 2018

Repentance, at its heart, is humble acceptance — the doorway through which Christ’s healing power enters our lives.

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Final Thought:
Dreams have a way of revealing what we might miss in our busy waking lives. I am grateful for this reminder: acceptance of my brokenness, dependence on God’s grace, and action grounded in humility are what keep me sober, centered, and spiritually alive.

From Isolation to Brotherhood

 

There’s a quiet truth that runs through life, often unnoticed:

"Men honor what lies within the sphere of their knowledge, but do not realize how dependent they are on what lies beyond it."
— Zhuangzi

How often do we pride ourselves on what we know?
We find comfort in our skills, our ideas, our familiar circles. Yet, the very fabric of life is held together by things we don’t fully grasp — the kindness of a stranger, the unseen sacrifices of others, the wisdom of generations past. When we pause and recognize how much we rely on what is beyond us, humility can take root. And with humility comes the first real opportunity for connection.

Connection, after all, begins with something as simple as a smile.
I have often made faces in the mirror until I couldn’t help but smile at myself. As Yoko Ono wisely states:

"Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you'll start to see a big difference in your life."

A common axiom for life is that before we can extend joy to others, we must first find it within ourselves. A simple, intentional smile — even if it feels silly at first — can spark a shift in how we carry ourselves through the day. And that shift is contagious.

However, connection isn’t just about individual positivity. It’s about dreaming together.
I believe Yoko Ono has it right when she said:

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality."

Many of us know the feeling of carrying dreams silently, believing they are too fragile, too personal, or too impossible to share. But something powerful happens when we open up and invite others into those dreams. A shared vision gains strength. It becomes something bigger than ourselves — it becomes reality.

Sadly, many of us have spent our lives doing the opposite.
From working Step 4 in recovery, we learn:

"We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension."
— Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 53

Instead of seeking partnership, we sought superiority or invisibility.
We measured ourselves against others, either competing or retreating, but rarely connecting. And in doing so, we cut ourselves off from the very thing that could heal us: true brotherhood, real friendship, humble belonging.

As the scriptures and prophets teach us, true strength lies in unity and love:

"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another."
— Romans 12:10 (KJV)

"When we are united, we can accomplish great things. ... Unity is a principle of heaven."
— President Henry B. Eyring

Today, we have the chance to choose differently.

• To smile — first at ourselves, and then at the world.

• To dream — not alone, but together.

• To live — not above or beneath others, but with them.

In recognizing how much lies beyond our own small circle of knowledge and ambition, we open ourselves to a life far richer than we could have imagined alone.

Maybe the greatest wisdom is not just knowing more about the world beyond us, but loving more within it.

Eternal Marriage: A Covenant Beyond Mortality

 

Today, I was asked to examine the eternity of marriage.

The typical marriage vow ends with the familiar phrase: "until death do us part." This wording suggests that marriage ends with the close of mortality. In Matthew 22:30, Christ teaches:

"At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven."

Jesus said this in response to a legal question from the Pharisees regarding the Law of Moses, particularly about marriage and inheritance if a husband died without leaving an heir. As I see it, Christ was specifically addressing Jewish law as set by Moses.

But marriage, at its deepest level, is more than a legal contract—it is a covenant between two individuals and God.

Marriage Through an Eternal Lens

Looking at marriage through the eyes of eternity, we find in Genesis 2:24:

“And they shall be one flesh.”

This profound statement points to a divine union, a covenant that symbolizes something far greater than earthly companionship—an enduring connection with God’s plan for His children.

If marriage is a covenant, then it needs to be sealed by someone who holds priesthood keys—the authority to act in God's name. Christ promised this sacred sealing power to His disciples in Matthew 16:19:

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

The Power to Bind and Loose

Interestingly, the words bind and loose in Hebrew during the first century A.D. carried specific rabbinical meanings:

• To bind: to forbid or declare unlawful

• To loose: to permit or declare lawful

Applied to marriage, binding a covenant on earth through proper priesthood authority makes it lawful—and thus binding—in heaven. In contrast, sin, when bound on earth (declared unlawful), remains bound unless repented of.

This understanding helps settle the seeming tension between Matthew 22:30 (where marriage seems temporary) and the concept of eternal marriage. Both teachings are correct when properly understood in context. Christ answered the Pharisees regarding earthly law, but His Gospel also revealed the higher law: the eternal nature of covenants made by His authority.

Marriage Under the Law of Moses and Christ’s Restoration

The Law of Moses provided ways to protect widows and ensure the continuation of covenant families. Marriage covenants needed to be preserved because they were made with God and were sealed by priesthood authority—both anciently and now through the Restoration of Christ's Church.

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Eternal Marriage in Modern Teachings

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints provides clear teachings about eternal marriage:

📖 Doctrine and Covenants 132:19

“If a man marry a wife by my word... and by the new and everlasting covenant... it shall be of full force when they are out of the world.”

📜 The Family: A Proclamation to the World

“Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God... and family relationships can be perpetuated beyond the grave.”

🧠 Teachings of Modern Prophets

“The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

President Russell M. Nelson said:

“The earth was created and temples built so that families could be sealed together for time and for all eternity.”

Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught:

“The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person in the right place by the right authority.”

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💭 Summary

When viewed solely through the lens of earthly tradition, marriage appears to end at death. However, through the authority of Jesus Christ and the restoration of priesthood keys, we understand that marriage—when entered into properly—can endure beyond the grave.

Through sacred covenants made in holy temples, families and marriages can be bound for time and all eternity, fulfilling God’s divine plan for His children.

No Good News

What do you do when you are confronted with day after day, hour after hour, even minute after minute of no good news? Tonight, I was listening to talks from previous speakers at my church's general conferences.

In one of the talks, the speaker relayed a story about a nine-year-old being accidentally run over by his father while backing out of a driveway. At that very moment, I needed to stop listening. I was unable to take into my thoughts one more catastrophic event.

I now write a little later. I went back and completed the talk. I learned that through the power of the Holy Ghost, the gentleman’s wife, and a ministering companion, the father was able to find himself again and survive the pain of his son's loss. Had I never gone back and finished the talk, I would have missed my lesson—the lesson of what we can do when faced with such an event in our lives.

We can draw upon the strength found in the grace of the Holy Ghost and our commitment to serving our fellow men to comfort and potentially save the life of a suffering friend.

In recovery, we will face times where our emotions will be stretched, yet we are taught to turn these emotions into strengths. There is an AA saying: "Fear knocked at the door; faith answered. No one was there." And as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous teaches: "Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. 'How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.' These are thoughts which must go with us constantly." (p. 85)

I am reminded in the writings of C.S. Lewis that seeking God's will, rather than our own, brings true fulfillment and identity. He wrote: “The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become—because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.” — Mere Christianity

From a spiritual point of view, we should not fear the sorrows of our world but take up the challenge to help in the healing of such suffering.

In Isaiah 41:10, we are taught: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." This is a call to overcome fear and trust in God's strength while serving others.

In Doctrine and Covenants 81:5, we are told: "Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees." This is a direct command to seek out and help those in distress.

In the end, I have learned that even though there may be things in this life I do not want to hear, the same may be just the lesson I need to hear in order to become the person I search after.

The Seed, the Plant, the Tree, and the Forest

It is a fundamental observation of the natural world that trees grow from seeds. In the case of the great redwood trees, their seeds must be cracked open under fiery conditions before they can sprout. Similarly, recovery begins with small steps and continues to grow as we exercise these steps in our daily lives. From hospitals and institutions, our members have grown into highly respected contributors to the lives around them.

This transformation is not due to God singling us out for special favors. It is simply a law of life: when we are interested in a subject, we find more knowledge coming to us almost "out of the blue" as we continue to seek it. It is as if hidden forces were gathering up ideas and pushing them in our direction.

This is the "new freedom and new happiness" promised in the AA Big Book (p. 83-84).  

The concept of "seeds becoming forests" resonates deeply across various disciplines, including philosophy, ecology, and spirituality. Here are some inspiring examples:

Ralph Waldo Emerson: "The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn."

Greek Proverb: "A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." This emphasizes the long-term impact of individual actions on the larger community.

Martin Luther: "Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."

A simple search will provide many more examples, reinforcing the powerful truth that small actions lead to great outcomes.

Turning to the spirituality of planting a seed, we find beautiful examples in theology:

Matthew 13:31-32 (Parable of the Mustard Seed):

"The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field: Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof."

Ezekiel 17:22-24 (God Plants a Small Sprig that Becomes a Mighty Tree):

"Thus saith the Lord God; I will also take of the highest branch of the high cedar, and will set it; I will crop off from the top of his young twigs a tender one, and will plant it upon a high mountain and eminent: In the mountain of the height of Israel will I plant it: and it shall bring forth boughs, and bear fruit, and be a goodly cedar: and under it shall dwell all fowl of every wing; in the shadow of the branches thereof shall they dwell."

Doctrine and Covenants 64:33:

"Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great."

Final Thoughts

The journey from a single seed to a vast forest mirrors our own spiritual and personal growth. Small, faithful efforts—whether in recovery, learning, or faith—can lead to extraordinary outcomes. As we continue planting these seeds, we nurture not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us, contributing to a flourishing, interconnected forest of hope and renewal.