I had a Dream: The Dream that Reminded me of Acceptance and Healing

 

Last night, I had a dream that left a deep impression on me. In it, I was at a beautiful restaurant with a friend. The restaurant had a bar decorated with items that stirred memories of my childhood home. As we admired the atmosphere, my friend mentioned that the bartender had a special brand of liquor — one I had never tasted before.

Curious but aware of my journey as an alcoholic in recovery, I initially declined. But as time passed and the social atmosphere warmed with the bartender’s friendliness, I gave in. I tasted the liquor. It was so mild and smooth, it hardly seemed dangerous.

Almost immediately, things began to unravel. I made excuses not to go home where my wife was preparing dinner. I foolishly offered to buy decorations for more money than I could afford. And when I finally got into my car to leave, I couldn’t remember the way home.

Thankfully, I woke up — relieved it had only been a dream. Yet I was left with a heavy feeling, almost like a mental hangover, wondering how something so wrong could seem so right while dreaming.

Reflection

As I pondered the dream, several recent patterns in my life came to mind:

• I had attended events I didn’t truly want to go to.

• I had become frustrated by long-postponed chores.

• I rushed through my daily prayer and meditation, distracted by my endless to-do list.

• My daily routines had changed.

• I was eating poorly and taking responsibility for things that weren’t mine to manage.

• Most importantly, I was trying to control my life instead of surrendering to God.

In short, my spiritual health was out of sync — despite years of sobriety and experience in the program.

From the co-founders of AA, we are reminded how dangerous this can be:

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."
— Bill Wilson (Big Book, p. 37)

"There is a definite turning point in the life of every alcoholic. I knew when it came for me, but if I had not been willing to accept and act upon the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I might have gone back to the hospital innumerable times."
— Dr. Bob Smith (Dr. Bob’s Nightmare, p. 181)

Both Bill W. and Dr. Bob emphasize that without acceptance and action, relapse becomes almost inevitable.

Acceptance and Spirituality Go Hand in Hand

Healing does not come from fighting reality; it begins with acceptance — acceptance of our brokenness, our need for God, and our inability to save ourselves.

Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest and theologian, writes:

"Healing begins with acceptance, not with demands to change. When we accept ourselves and others in our brokenness, we become participants in the grace of God."

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar and theologian, echoes this:

"God comes to us disguised as our life. When we can accept what is — especially the unacceptable — we are touching God’s grace, and healing becomes possible."

Scripture, too, affirms this truth:

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
— 2 Corinthians 12:9 (New Testament)

In the Book of Mormon, we hear a similar plea:

"O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God."
— Mosiah 4:2

Trusting God's Healing Power

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland shared a powerful message of hope:

"Believe in miracles. Hope is never lost. Accept that healing may come in different ways, but know that healing will come. Trust God."
— Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Like a Broken Vessel,” General Conference, Oct 2013

And President Russell M. Nelson taught:

"When we choose to repent, we choose to change! We allow the Savior to transform us into the best version of ourselves. We choose to grow spiritually and receive joy—the joy of redemption in Him."
— President Russell M. Nelson, General Conference, Apr 2018

Repentance, at its heart, is humble acceptance — the doorway through which Christ’s healing power enters our lives.

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Final Thought:
Dreams have a way of revealing what we might miss in our busy waking lives. I am grateful for this reminder: acceptance of my brokenness, dependence on God’s grace, and action grounded in humility are what keep me sober, centered, and spiritually alive.