Friendship: The Bonds That Endure

Have you ever asked, "What is it about this person that draws me to him and allows for trusting him with my deepest thoughts and secrets?" In a world where such people are few, it seems prudent to look at the characteristics of true friendship.

Interestingly, Noah Webster’s original 1828 dictionary defined friendship with a strong moral and emotional emphasis, describing it as:

"An attachment to a person, proceeding from intimate acquaintance, and a reciprocation of kind offices, or from a favorable opinion and esteem."

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), we are told that we will meet people where:

"Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey." (A Vision For You, Alcoholics Anonymous)

This aligns closely with a modern definition I recently found through AI:

"Friendship is a close and mutual bond between individuals based on trust, support, affection, and shared experiences. It involves a sense of companionship, understanding, and loyalty, where both parties contribute to the relationship with care and respect. True friendship often includes honesty, empathy, and a willingness to be there for each other through both good times and challenges."

From these insights, I suggest that there are five key elements of friendship:

• Affection: A genuine liking and appreciation for one another.

• Trust: Confidence in each other’s character and intentions.

• Loyalty: A commitment to stand by each other.

• Mutual Support: Being there in times of need.

• Shared Experiences: Common interests and history that strengthen the bond.

I have such a friend. We met in college, drank together, looked out for each other on the hard nights, supported each other during midlife joys and sorrow, and at any time can start a conversation with "We need to talk."

He is the kind of friend described in Proverbs 17:17:

"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

As 1 Samuel 18:1-3 recounts the friendship of Jonathan and David:

"And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."

This expresses the kind of friendship that endures through burdens and joy.

Similarly, Mosiah 18:8-9 describes the nature of true companionship:

"And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) — and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn;

yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort,

and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in."

May we all strive to be that kind of friend—one who stands by others in all times, offering love, trust, and unwavering support.