Of Pride and Wit: A Reflection on Confidentiality, Trust, and Love

Today I was struck by a citation from Mary Astell:

"Unhappy is that Grandeur which makes us too great to be good; and that Wit which sets us at a distance from true Wisdom."

This thoughtful observation reminded me of similar reflections by Voltaire:

"Wit is a dangerous weapon, even to the possessor, if he knows not how to use it discreetly."
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong."

These quotations serve as a powerful reminder that while our wit can be sharp and engaging, it can also inadvertently create distance from true wisdom if not tempered with humility and care.

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Speaking from the Heart in AA

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), our interactions are governed by principles that go far beyond clever remarks or intellectual banter. Even when emotions run high and tensions surface, we are called to speak from the heart rather than simply rely on our wit. AA’s very first tradition emphasizes that "our common welfare comes first." This is more than a guideline—it is a sacred covenant that reminds us to honor the trust placed in us by safeguarding the personal details shared within our fellowship.

At the core of our mutual support are three essential elements: Confidentiality, Trust, and Love. Without these, our words and actions lose their spiritual resonance. They are the foundation upon which genuine healing and growth are built.

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Wisdom in Our Words

Reflecting on this balance, one might consider what Buddha referred to as "Right Speech." The Buddha taught:

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace."

In a similar spirit, we are encouraged to radiate boundless love in all our interactions:

"Radiate boundless love towards the entire world — above, below, and across — unhindered, without ill will, without enmity."

This is the essence of speaking with kindness, empathy, and a commitment to the well-being of others.

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Embracing Vulnerability

Brené Brown reminds us that:

"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity."

This insight underscores that our willingness to be open and authentic is not a weakness, but rather the starting point for building deep, meaningful connections. In AA, whether we are welcoming newcomers or supporting long-time members, embracing vulnerability with trust and love is essential.

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Scriptural Support for Our Journey

Our guiding principles are also echoed in sacred scriptures, reinforcing the importance of confidentiality, trust, and love:

• Proverbs 11:13 (Bible):
  "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret."
  This verse reminds us that preserving the privacy of what is shared in trust is crucial to nurturing a supportive community.

• Mosiah 18:21 (Book of Mormon):
  "And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love, one towards another."
  In this passage, we find the ideal of unity and mutual respect, where hearts are bound together in trust and love, free from discord and judgment.

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A Final Thought

Always remember: a charitable heart overcomes all unkindness. When we choose to honor confidentiality, uphold trust, and lead with love, our words become more than just sounds—they become a force for healing, unity, and spiritual growth.

Let us strive to embody these principles in every interaction, ensuring that our fellowship remains a sanctuary of support, wisdom, and boundless love