I’ve heard it said: “Conquest not, yet win the war.” At first glance, it sounds like a military metaphor — but its wisdom goes far deeper. Many of us have fought to be the best, to achieve success, to earn recognition, status, and power. Some have reached those heights — kings, queens, presidents, even popes. Yet without humility and love, history often remembers such figures not for their triumphs, but for the emptiness behind their thrones.
That’s why I was struck by a quote attributed to Alexander the Great, a man whose name is nearly synonymous with conquest:
“Whatever possession we gain by our sword cannot be sure or lasting, but the love gained by kindness and moderation is certain and durable.”
For a man of war to express such clarity about the limits of power — and the enduring strength of love — is both surprising and profound.
This echoes a truth found not just in ancient philosophy, but in the principles of recovery and spiritual living. In Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Bill Wilson writes in Step Seven:
“True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.”
Here, “winning the war” doesn’t mean dominating others or climbing to the top — it means surrendering pride and ego, and choosing to serve. Our greatest victories are internal.
This is the great paradox: that strength and security do not come from control, but from surrender and trust. As Dr. Bob Smith said:
“Seek humility and an open mind. Look for the good in others and try to do what’s right, not what’s easy.”
To those who would seek power — take counsel from the scholars and the scriptures. The greatest leaders in history were not those who conquered by force, but those who led with love, restraint, and service.
Wisdom from Scripture and Scholars
“The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
— Matthew 23:11–12 (NIV)
“One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.”
— Proverbs 16:32 (NRSV)
“The more one forgets himself — by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love — the more human he is.”
— Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
“The soft overcomes the hard; the gentle overcomes the rigid. Everyone knows this is true, but few can put it into practice.”
— Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
“I have not commanded you to come up hither that ye should fear me... I have been suffered to spend my days in your service... and yet, I do not boast in my own strength.”
— Mosiah 2:10–11, Book of Mormon
“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained... only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.”
— Doctrine and Covenants 121:39–42
In the End
Lasting influence does not come through domination. It is love, service, and gentleness that accomplish what no authoritarian ever could. Those who win the true war are not those who take power, but those who give themselves in love and humility.
So when you’re tempted to push harder, strive more, or win at any cost — pause. Ask yourself: Am I seeking conquest? Or am I learning to win the war that matters most — the one within?
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