Self-Honesty

 

When I first came into AA, I thought being honest simply meant not stealing from the cash register. So when people said, "You need to get honest," I assumed I already had that part figured out.

Then I read this:

"The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God."
— As Bill Sees It, p. 17

That kind of honesty was something entirely different.

AA was asking me to go deeper—to share with a sponsor the truth about my past behavior and, even more challenging, to take action to change that behavior. It wasn’t just about confession. It was about transformation. I had to bare my soul and then do the work—what we in the rooms call repentance.

As Shakespeare wrote:

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
— Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3

If I wanted to stay sober, I had to move past the illusion that “everything is fine” when, in truth, nothing was going well. That meant ending denial and developing a new kind of self-awareness—one rooted in honesty, humility, and responsibility.

Paul's words to the Philippians helped me see the beauty and peace that come from living in truth:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things... and the God of peace shall be with you."
— Philippians 4:8–9

Self-honesty invites peace. It clears away the clutter of fear and illusion and opens the door to real connection—with ourselves, with others, and with a Higher Power.

It also opens the door to change.

We're not just called to believe—we’re called to act in alignment with the truth. Humbling ourselves, acknowledging where we’ve gone wrong, and sincerely asking for help—that’s the beginning of a changed life.

"And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them."
— Mosiah 4:10

In Step Four and beyond, we’re taught to take a searching and fearless moral inventory. But even before that, the invitation is simple and direct: start telling yourself the truth.

Recovery doesn’t demand perfection.
But it does ask for honesty.
And when we live in truth, we live in freedom.